Posted: July 8, 2016 by simonbosco in Uncategorized
I haven’t written a blog in about a lifetime or so, lately I haven’t had the same anger I had when I’dcome straight home and crow about gibberish until my brain felt elation, share it on whatever social media platform I loathe but seem to be in a looped cycle of whenever I’m on a laptop and hope someone likes it so I can feel justified in my opinion because seeking others validation is not only my forte its also my piano. (Good to know I can still write a convoluted and overly long sentence to screech in a new passage of shit penned by fingers that the world deem too small for an adult).
Whats the point Bosco? I don’t know pal. I don’t. I thought when I started writing this I’d fall into a funk and prattle ass forwards but I’m still fumble fucking my way through 8 sheets of fog in a broken wheelchair. Why are you so lost Simon? Why are you talking to yourself? Well to answer the second question first I don’t segway good or english well. First answer because I’m losing my ability to navigate my way around this world. Everything seems like the worst version of horrible out there and instead of global fires being put out, the flames just seems to spread cross continents until it envelopes this blue hackey sack. Cops killing innocent people, missiles being sent to family homes, animals tortured, politicians laughing at us as they pantomime a nightmare in fancy costumes with catch phrases to boot. The world genuinely seems to be apple crumbling and everyday it just nudges its way into the zeitgeist until its normalcy and we dance the gangam hand-in-hand into a mushroom cloud.
I used to think good was general and bad was acute. I was a dumb kid. I then thought people had good and bad in them but were generally proficient at keeping a muzzle on the negative for the most. I was a dumb teenager, but hopeful. Gradually over the years my grab a back pack tightly and suck in my cheeks level of optimism for this world diminished. It went dry a few times. Drying than my man pussy after I re-realise my sexual inadequacies. I was a morbid and realistic adult. HOWEVER, even though I begrudgingly club-foot my way through each week, I continue to meet people who are trying their best to be good. Volunteering, helping, nurturing, assisting, loving and caring. People who will give their time and effort so that those around them both immediately and in a worldly sense can benefit from it. People who haven’t become so inwardly focused that their live are just a gauntlet of accruing items and making things comfortable for your spewly. That’s the bump i need to get me to the next score. There are so many people who want change, who are on the side of the argument that wants the best outcome for all parties. Thats what keeps the struggle real in my mind. The masses of gorgeous and socially conscious earthlings stops the apple core under my hair from completely rotting. Until I stop meeting new people like this, Psy can get power fucked and that mushroom cloud is just a painting made to evoke whats not there.
I’m sorry I didn’t make a point or even attempt to make a joke. I just kind of felt like this was how I should spend the last 30 mins of my life. No one is reading this though so I think I’m covered Simon (yeah that’s right Im so sure of it’s anaemic readership I’m happy to let this mud pie of a blog descend into a conversation with myself for no ones benefit, including my own) OK my fingers hurt.
Posted: August 3, 2015 by simonbosco in Uncategorized
Tags: 90s, Ass, Cat, celebrity, Comedy, Comics, Cute, dogs, hitman, humour, idiots, italian, laughter, mafia, Nude
Posted: March 15, 2015 by simonbosco in Uncategorized
Another new track I’ve been working on. It didn’t upload perfectly and some stuff got cut out but nobody is reading this so I’m just self soothing until the peanut butter kills me.
Posted: March 14, 2015 by simonbosco in Uncategorized
This is a track I compassed using my finger and a computer. I’m going under the pseudonym Cookie’s Servant but I thought Squelch might be a good producer name too. I think I like Squelch more.
Posted: February 24, 2015 by simonbosco in Funny, Jokes, Science
Here is a podcast I spoke on. And on. And you get it.
A foray into jovial conversation in which a feminist, a porn star and myself got into a debate about who is the most badass female in movies.
I chose Geena Davis as Samantha/Charlie in ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’. It may not seem like the most obvious choice, but it was my choice to make. Also defending for the top is boring and the opposite of altruism. Tall poppies and the like. Enjoy.
Posted: January 13, 2015 by simonbosco in Funny, Jokes, Science
Tags: 90s, Anxiety, Bacon, Bi-Polar, blog., blogging., Cat, celebrity, Comedy, Depression, Doctors, funny, government, hard candy, humour, Medication, Meds, Seroquel, Seroquel XR, skin, Telemundo
Snappy title huh? Unless you don’t know what Seroquel is and upon immediate reflection I’m guessing that the majority of you probably don’t. This is not a humble brag. Trust me. Seroquel is a tiny pill you can barely feel rushing past your tongue and throat as you guzzle it down with flat Pepsi or tap spew but as we all know it’s not the size of the pill in the fight it’s size of the cliched bullshit wow this stuff is STRoNG. (The o represents me being ensconsed by this powerful sorcery).
I was prescribed this haze-descender a few weeks ago now off the back of a Bi-polar diagnosis shelled out to me in a sterile gp’s office after 20 minutes of talking and a few multiple choice tests. I went in whackadooo stupid and Zanything-goes, according to whatever friends I have left and came out a paradox. So now that the government got a whiff of my mental whimsy I was not to leave the confines of the doctors office without filling my utility satchel with enough chemicals to sedate a colony of Angora rabbits.
Prescription: Seroquel. “Sir would you like to buy the generic brand if it’s available for less”. Ofcourse I fucking do. Do I look richtarted? Just because I have a few bats in the belfry doesn’t mean I have some bahts in my bellbottoms…………………………..”Sir. Sir. So would you like the generic brand?” “yes sorry got lost in thought there. Yeah and chuck in some hard candy, a tub-a-paw-paw and some no-doze thanks, tonight I cleanse the darkness and if you see the fourth door tell it I loved it’s idling more than it ever could have”. “26 bux sir” “SOLD!!!”
By the time I wrote these first few paragraphs, fondled my apathetic pussy and chugged a gallon of arabic crude oil the morning molecule induced fog has started to rise and i’m feeling like a carbon copy skin puppet again. That’s not a bad thing necessarily but it means I can’t report from the cerebral trenches and gullies that this shit will toss you into with street fighting fist, which was my original intention for kicking of this bum splat of a journal. This incident is occurring more regularly though. The “why did I go into the kitchen again?” kind of shit-stack that most people usually only get when going into the kitchen is skulking it’s way in to an hourly cameo in the Telemundo of my existence.
Tomorrow i’ll try to wake up early enough to float in the abyss of uncompleted sleep and incomplete med cycles. Until then just remember. You “Cant say no to C C’s because your sating YES twice. Be god to yourself and each other.
Posted: January 9, 2015 by simonbosco in Uncategorized
Tags: 90s, Ass, Australia, Bacon, Beard, blog., blogging., Cat, celebrity, Comedy, Comics, Cute, dogs, festivals., Fish, Lobster
The second trailer for a movie that hasn’t even finished being made yet. Yep thats right. I don’t even know if I will get around to putting a bow on this doozie but till that day skulks around a gauntlet of trailers ye shall receive. I say ye but really it’s me and the people I force to huddle around my mobile phone watching this badgers dick of an attempt at visual entertainment.
Posted: November 16, 2014 by simonbosco in Jokes, Stand-up performances, Uncategorized, Video
Tags: Ass, Bacon, Butt, celebrity, Comedy, death, dogs, Evolution, Food, Fuck, funny, humour, joke, Jokes, Kardashian, Kelis, Mr Burns, Nas, Nude, rap, The Simpsons, Underground
One more splodge of esoteric dumbfuckery. If you like Simpsons references or more specifically that scene where Mr Burns shoots at a destitute male, and also like Kelis songs where she attempts to do a cross over with R and B and home music then this is definitely a video that you will want to watch over and over until you bleed out the memory of having pressed the link in the first place.
Bon Ape tits.
Posted: November 1, 2014 by simonbosco in Jokes
Tags: Bacon, Brittany Spears, Comedy, funny, Futurama, Homer, Matt Greoning, Mr Black, music, pop music., The Simpsons, Video, Will.I.Am
A new video I made. I made it because I had to see what this idea would look like if I bothered to make it. Well this is what happens if you muster up the gumption and follow your dreams.
Wait for the surprise ending. (duration 8.1 seconds)
Posted: October 28, 2014 by simonbosco in Jokes, Uncategorized, Video
Tags: 90s, Comedy, Crab, Crustacean, Dad, Father, Film, Fish, humour, Jokes, Lobster, Michael Jordan, Paramount, parenting, Scottie Pippen, sketch, Teenager, Trailer, Universal, Wasteland, Weinstein
This is the trailer for a downcoming short film titled ‘LOBSTER DAD’.
*title pending* *also contents pending* *release pending*