Another new track I’ve been working on. It didn’t upload perfectly and some stuff got cut out but nobody is reading this so I’m just self soothing until the peanut butter kills me.
This is a track I compassed using my finger and a computer. I’m going under the pseudonym Cookie’s Servant but I thought Squelch might be a good producer name too. I think I like Squelch more.
Here is a podcast I spoke on. And on. And you get it.
A foray into jovial conversation in which a feminist, a porn star and myself got into a debate about who is the most badass female in movies.
I chose Geena Davis as Samantha/Charlie in ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’. It may not seem like the most obvious choice, but it was my choice to make. Also defending for the top is boring and the opposite of altruism. Tall poppies and the like. Enjoy.
Tags: 90s, Anxiety, Bacon, Bi-Polar, blog., blogging., Cat, celebrity, Comedy, Depression, Doctors, funny, government, hard candy, humour, Medication, Meds, Seroquel, Seroquel XR, skin, Telemundo
Snappy title huh? Unless you don’t know what Seroquel is and upon immediate reflection I’m guessing that the majority of you probably don’t. This is not a humble brag. Trust me. Seroquel is a tiny pill you can barely feel rushing past your tongue and throat as you guzzle it down with flat Pepsi or tap spew but as we all know it’s not the size of the pill in the fight it’s size of the cliched bullshit wow this stuff is STRoNG. (The o represents me being ensconsed by this powerful sorcery).
I was prescribed this haze-descender a few weeks ago now off the back of a Bi-polar diagnosis shelled out to me in a sterile gp’s office after 20 minutes of talking and a few multiple choice tests. I went in whackadooo stupid and Zanything-goes, according to whatever friends I have left and came out a paradox. So now that the government got a whiff of my mental whimsy I was not to leave the confines of the doctors office without filling my utility satchel with enough chemicals to sedate a colony of Angora rabbits.
Prescription: Seroquel. “Sir would you like to buy the generic brand if it’s available for less”. Ofcourse I fucking do. Do I look richtarted? Just because I have a few bats in the belfry doesn’t mean I have some bahts in my bellbottoms…………………………..”Sir. Sir. So would you like the generic brand?” “yes sorry got lost in thought there. Yeah and chuck in some hard candy, a tub-a-paw-paw and some no-doze thanks, tonight I cleanse the darkness and if you see the fourth door tell it I loved it’s idling more than it ever could have”. “26 bux sir” “SOLD!!!”
By the time I wrote these first few paragraphs, fondled my apathetic pussy and chugged a gallon of arabic crude oil the morning molecule induced fog has started to rise and i’m feeling like a carbon copy skin puppet again. That’s not a bad thing necessarily but it means I can’t report from the cerebral trenches and gullies that this shit will toss you into with street fighting fist, which was my original intention for kicking of this bum splat of a journal. This incident is occurring more regularly though. The “why did I go into the kitchen again?” kind of shit-stack that most people usually only get when going into the kitchen is skulking it’s way in to an hourly cameo in the Telemundo of my existence.
Tomorrow i’ll try to wake up early enough to float in the abyss of uncompleted sleep and incomplete med cycles. Until then just remember. You “Cant say no to C C’s because your sating YES twice. Be god to yourself and each other.
Tags: 90s, Ass, Australia, Bacon, Beard, blog., blogging., Cat, celebrity, Comedy, Comics, Cute, dogs, festivals., Fish, Lobster
The second trailer for a movie that hasn’t even finished being made yet. Yep thats right. I don’t even know if I will get around to putting a bow on this doozie but till that day skulks around a gauntlet of trailers ye shall receive. I say ye but really it’s me and the people I force to huddle around my mobile phone watching this badgers dick of an attempt at visual entertainment.
Tags: Ass, Bacon, Butt, celebrity, Comedy, death, dogs, Evolution, Food, Fuck, funny, humour, joke, Jokes, Kardashian, Kelis, Mr Burns, Nas, Nude, rap, The Simpsons, Underground
One more splodge of esoteric dumbfuckery. If you like Simpsons references or more specifically that scene where Mr Burns shoots at a destitute male, and also like Kelis songs where she attempts to do a cross over with R and B and home music then this is definitely a video that you will want to watch over and over until you bleed out the memory of having pressed the link in the first place.
Bon Ape tits.
Tags: Bacon, Brittany Spears, Comedy, funny, Futurama, Homer, Matt Greoning, Mr Black, music, pop music., The Simpsons, Video, Will.I.Am
A new video I made. I made it because I had to see what this idea would look like if I bothered to make it. Well this is what happens if you muster up the gumption and follow your dreams.
Wait for the surprise ending. (duration 8.1 seconds)
Tags: 90s, Comedy, Crab, Crustacean, Dad, Father, Film, Fish, humour, Jokes, Lobster, Michael Jordan, Paramount, parenting, Scottie Pippen, sketch, Teenager, Trailer, Universal, Wasteland, Weinstein
This is the trailer for a downcoming short film titled ‘LOBSTER DAD’.
*title pending* *also contents pending* *release pending*
Tags: Burgers, Cat, Chips, Comedy, Cute, Fat, Feels, Food, funny, humour, Hungry Jacks, Into, KFC, kitten, Like, Mc Donalds, Pop Tarts, rag doll, Taco Bell, Tagging, The, Void, Whispering